Lean Quote: How You Make Them Feel Is Most Meaningful

On Fridays I will post a Lean related Quote. Throughout our lifetimes many people touch our lives and leave us with words of wisdom. These can both be a source of new learning and also a point to pause and reflect upon lessons we have learned. Within Lean active learning is an important aspect on this journey because without learning we can not improve.

"People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."   —  Maya Angelou

What matters most in your daily interactions isn’t so much the specific actions you take or the words you say that people remember most, but how someone was made to feel: listened to or ignored, included or left out, amused or exhausted, or big instead of small. This is the essence of it.

What’s more, the feelings you elicit in others last—or linger—surprisingly long. That’s just how we’re wired. So you should keep in mind the long-term implications of how you made them feel because, this way, you won’t be constantly playing from behind.

Lasting first impressions: There are many ways you can genuinely make someone else feel good about themselves, thus making a lasting impression. For example: being prepared, asking questions about them and theirs, remembering and using names, giving genuine compliments, being generous in conversation, and avoiding reflexive pessimism, etc.

But first impressions can go differently.

Lingering first impressions: With first impressions, there are many unambiguous ways you could leave a bad taste in someone’s mouth, perhaps by forgetting names constantly, interrupting too often mid sentences, or glancing frequently at the phone. But if you’re making these mistakes, a quote isn’t the antidote.

Because bad first impressions can take a while to undo, these lingering negative thoughts and feelings can act as a anchor, potentially holding you back in social, business, or work opportunities.

Make Lasting Impressions: Good first impressions are uplifting, congenial, and they’re enjoyable to be a part of. You’ll be remembered. You’ll be more approachable. You’ll be invited to parties. Your future will be better.

Nonetheless, how you made them feel is a helpful framework for you to think through the nuance of what’s really going on during your daily interactions (which also help shape the future).

You get what you give, and you get more when you give more, so how will you make someone feel?