What matters
most in your daily interactions isn’t so much the specific actions you take or
the words you say that people remember most, but how someone was made to feel:
listened to or ignored, included or left out, amused or exhausted, or big
instead of small. This is the essence of it.
What’s more,
the feelings you elicit in others last—or linger—surprisingly long. That’s just
how we’re wired. So you should keep in mind the long-term implications of how
you made them feel because, this way, you won’t be constantly playing from
behind.
Lasting
first impressions:
There are many ways you
can genuinely make someone else feel good about themselves, thus making a
lasting impression. For example: being prepared, asking questions about them
and theirs, remembering and using names, giving genuine compliments, being generous
in conversation, and avoiding reflexive pessimism, etc.
But first
impressions can go differently.
Lingering
first impressions: With
first impressions, there are many unambiguous ways you could leave a bad taste
in someone’s mouth, perhaps by forgetting names constantly, interrupting too
often mid sentences, or glancing frequently at the phone. But if you’re making
these mistakes, a quote isn’t the antidote.
Because bad
first impressions can take a while to undo, these lingering negative thoughts
and feelings can act as a anchor, potentially holding you back in social,
business, or work opportunities.
Make
Lasting Impressions: Good first impressions are uplifting,
congenial, and they’re enjoyable to be a part of. You’ll be remembered. You’ll
be more approachable. You’ll be invited to parties. Your future will be better.
Nonetheless, how you made them feel is a helpful framework for you to think through the nuance of what’s really going on during your daily interactions (which also help shape the future).
